How to Navigate “Mood Traps”
Understanding and Managing Common Mood Pitfalls
As a Clinical Psychologist, I come across so many people struggling with low mood, feeling stuck in negative thought patterns or overwhelmed by emotions. One of the most important areas we can focus on is identifying and addressing the “mood traps” that can keep us stuck in emotional lows. These are common patterns that can negatively impact our well-being and make it difficult to break free from the emotional rut.
Unhelpful Behaviours we fall into:
When we are feeling low or depressed, we often fall into unhelpful behaviours that reinforce our negative feelings. We get urges to do things that we think will make us feel better, but actually make us feel worse. These can include withdrawing from social interactions, avoiding responsibilities, procrastinating, or engaging in behaviours like excessive sleeping, unhealthy eating or drinking alcohol/taking drugs, as ways of ‘numbing out’ our emotions / pushing our emotions away / distracting ourselves / providing instant relief. These actions, while they might feel comforting in the short-term, usually worsen feelings of isolation, guilt, or hopelessness in the long-term. As soon as we switch off the tv, close down the social media app or sober up, the feelings come back, sometimes more intensely. For example, avoiding social activities might provide temporary relief, but it prevents opportunities for connection and support, leaving us feeling more alone. These behaviours are part of a vicious cycle, where our actions, thoughts, and emotions feed into one another, keeping us stuck in a low mood.
Example:
Situation: Feeling low about work.
Thoughts: "I'm failing. There's no point in trying."
Feelings: Sad, hopeless, anxious.
Behaviour: Procrastinate, avoid tasks, withdraw from colleagues.
Consequences: Increased workload, deeper feelings of failure and isolation.
This cycle continues, reinforcing the original low mood. We need to break this cycle by encouraging alternative thoughts and behaviours, promoting healthier ways to manage emotions. Here’s is another example:
Vicious Cycle of Low Mood / Instant Relief
Short-term discomfort for long-term gain!
Managing low mood effectively starts with reflecting on how we typically respond to those negative feelings. It's crucial to show ourselves compassion—it's only natural to want to push uncomfortable feelings away. Of course, we want to feel better! But it's also important to be honest with ourselves about whether the ways we're coping in the moment are actually helping us in the long run, or just masking the problem temporarily.
Often, the things we do to feel better instantly, like scrolling on social media or avoiding tasks, are like sticking a plaster over a deep wound—it may give us relief for a moment, but it doesn’t really heal the underlying issue. These quick fixes can sometimes make things worse in the long-term, reinforcing the low mood when the feelings resurface. On the other hand, the things that really help us heal, like exercising, talking to someone we trust, or gradually tackling avoided tasks, take more effort and don't provide immediate relief—but they’re the ones that lead to lasting change.
It's a bit like training for a marathon. The first few runs are hard and uncomfortable, but each step builds strength and stamina for the long haul. Similarly, when it comes to healing from depression, sometimes it’s about accepting a bit of short-term discomfort for long-term well-being. Making that shift in mindset can be key to breaking the cycle of low mood.
Positive effects of changing our behaviours / taking action!
Journal Prompts to Reflect on How You Cope with Low Mood:
When you're feeling down, what do you usually do first?
Think about what you tend to do when you're feeling low or having a rough day. Maybe you stay indoors and avoid people, turn on the TV for hours, or keep busy with housework to avoid thinking about things. Write down what you notice.Does doing this make you feel better right away?
Do these actions help take the edge off the sadness or stress in the moment? For example, do you feel a quick sense of relief when you binge-watch a series or scroll through your phone?How does this affect you in the long run?
Think about what happens after the immediate relief wears off. Do you still feel good, or does the low mood come back just as strong, or maybe even worse? For example, does spending hours on the sofa make you feel sluggish and isolated afterwards?What does it cost you?
Not in money, but what does it take away from your life? Does it cost you time you could have spent connecting with friends, enjoying nature, or getting something done that’s been on your mind? Does it drain your energy, stop you from improving your health, or keep you stuck in a rut? Write about what you’re giving up when you fall into these habits.
Living by our Life Values
Another great way to improve low mood is by focusing on behaviours that are aligned with what truly matters to us. This is where the principles of ‘Behavioral Activation’ come in—particularly through the lens of values, pleasure, and mastery:
"Values" represent the core things that give our lives meaning—what we care about most, whether it's relationships, personal growth, or contributing to something bigger than ourselves. These values act as a compass, guiding us toward the actions that will make our lives feel more fulfilled.
"Pleasure" involves engaging in activities that bring us joy simply for the sake of enjoyment, like spending time with loved ones, enjoying nature, or diving into a favourite hobby, or trying something new we have always wanted to do but never had the courage to. It’s about finding moments that refresh and rejuvenate us.
"Mastery," on the other hand, is about activities where we can develop skills and achieve a sense of accomplishment, like pursuing work goals, learning something new, or practising a sport. It’s these moments of growth and achievement that help us feel capable and boost our self-esteem.
When we set goals that incorporate values, pleasure, and mastery, we create a life that is more engaged and purposeful. The balance between these three areas may look different for everyone, but finding that balance helps us move through life with more meaning, enjoyment, and a sense of accomplishment. It’s these simple yet powerful actions that can lead to lasting improvements in how we feel, even on the toughest days.
Life Values - Worksheet 1
Life Values - Worksheet 2
Unhelpful Thinking Patterns We Fall Into:
The Perfectionism Trap Many of us have internalised a belief that only perfection is acceptable. This can create immense pressure, leaving us feeling like we're never good enough. Imagine a scenario where you set a goal to start exercising regularly. You manage to keep up with it for a few weeks but then miss a couple of days due to life’s usual busyness. A perfectionistic mindset might tell you, “You’ve failed, so there’s no point in continuing.” This ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking causes us to abandon our efforts entirely, rather than recognising that setbacks are a normal part of any process. Instead of holding ourselves to impossible standards, it’s important to adopt a more flexible mindset—allowing room for mistakes or lapses and seeing them as part of progress, not failure.
Negative Filters This is the tendency to only see the bad things in our lives and discount the positives. You might get a glowing review at work but fixate on one small piece of constructive feedback, allowing it to colour your entire perception of yourself. We can all fall into this trap, where our brain focuses on negative experiences and ignores the good. We’ve all been there, right? You’re checking out reviews for a hotel or something you’re about to buy, and then that ONE negative review suddenly overshadows everything else! It’s like it sticks in your mind, no matter how many good ones you read. It’s the same with our negative thoughts! Over time, this habitual negativity becomes exhausting and deeply affects our mood. A practical way to counter this is by consciously making an effort to balance your perspective. If your mind automatically jumps to negative thoughts, pause, and ask yourself: “What is the bigger picture? What is going well that I’m overlooking?” Shifting your focus can significantly improve how you feel.
Catastrophising Catastrophising is when we automatically assume the worst-case scenario. For example, if you’re running late for a meeting, your mind might spiral into thoughts like, “I’m going to lose my job,” or “Everyone will think I’m incompetent.” When we catastrophise, we overestimate the likelihood of disaster and underestimate our ability to cope. This constant cycle of imagining the worst puts our mood in a heightened state of anxiety and helplessness. One way to combat this is through grounding techniques. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen? How likely is that on a scale from 0-100? And if it did happen, could I handle it?” Often, you’ll find that things are not as dire as your mind is telling you.
Overthinking and Rumination Rumination involves replaying the same thoughts over and over without resolution, often about something that has already happened or something we fear might happen. It’s like being stuck on a mental treadmill, exhausting yourself but going nowhere. Perhaps you’ve had a disagreement with a friend, and you can’t stop analysing every detail of the conversation, wondering if they’re angry with you or if you said something wrong. This kind of mental looping amplifies feelings of anxiety or sadness, draining your emotional resources. To break the cycle, try engaging in a different activity to shift your focus or consciously practice mindfulness to bring yourself back to the present moment.
Comparisons In today’s world of social media, it’s all too easy to fall into the comparison trap. You may scroll through images of others’ seemingly perfect lives and think, “Why can’t I have that?” Comparisons often lead to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, or frustration. What we don’t see are the struggles and imperfections behind those images. Instead of comparing your life to others’, focus on your own journey. Ask yourself, “What are the things I value most?” Celebrate your unique path, and remind yourself that everyone’s life has highs and lows, even if you can’t see them.
Here's a helpful table that outlines the common unhelpful thinking patterns that people often fall into, along with a brief description and example for each.
Unhelpful Thinking Styles
These thinking patterns can be grouped together under broader categories to help you make more sense of them, such as:
Negative Biases (e.g. Mental Filtering, Catastrophising)
Rigid Thinking (e.g. All-or-Nothing, Should/Must Statements)
Self-Criticism (e.g. Labelling, Personalisation)
Distorted Future Thinking (e.g. Fortune Telling, Jumping to Conclusions)
How to Navigate Mood Traps
When it comes to navigating these mood traps, self-awareness is key. We often fall into these traps without realising it, and they can reinforce low mood or heighten anxiety. The first step is to become aware of when and how these patterns show up in your life.
Practice Self-Compassion
It’s essential to treat yourself with kindness, especially when you’re struggling. Instead of beating yourself up for feeling down or making a mistake, try to talk to yourself as you would to a close friend. Remind yourself that everyone has difficult days, and you’re doing the best you can. Compassion allows us to navigate through tough times with more resilience.Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts
Thought challenging is an effective way to address unhelpful thinking. You can start by recording these in a thought record below (see below - Thought Challenging in ‘other helpful materials’). When you catch yourself falling into unhelpful thinking styles, just acknowledge this, and take a moment to challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support them and whether there’s another way to view the situation. Find techniques that work for your situation. For example, if you often think in "should" or "must" statements, try replacing "I should" with "I could." It’s a kinder, more compassionate way to speak to yourself, and just this one small change can make a big difference! These shifts in perspective can ease emotional distress.Break the Cycle with Action
When we’re stuck in a low mood, it can feel difficult to find the motivation to do anything. However, taking small, positive actions—such as going for a walk, connecting with a loved one, or engaging in a hobby—can help break the cycle. Even if it feels like nothing will change how you feel, taking action can start the upward spiral out of a mood dip. You can start planning things into a diary to help you with this (see below - “Behavioural Activation” in ‘other helpful materials’).Build Resilience Through Positive Habits
Incorporating daily habits that support your mental health—such as regular exercise, mindfulness, and gratitude practices—helps build resilience. These habits don’t prevent difficulties, but they strengthen your capacity to cope when challenges arise.
Final Thoughts
Mood dips / traps are a natural part of life, but they don’t have to take over your world. By recognising these common traps and learning how to deal with them, you can build emotional strength and resilience. It’s not about avoiding tough feelings (these will always come up as we journey through life!)—it’s about finding ways to handle them, so they don’t control you, allowing you to live a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Whether it’s shifting your actions or choosing to engage in activities that align with your core values, rather than being controlled by negative feelings, the key is to take steps that move you toward what truly matters to you. By living in line with your values, you create a sense of purpose and direction, even when emotions feel overwhelming. This proactive approach helps you build a life that’s not defined by how you feel in the moment, but by the meaningful actions you take.
Whether it's letting go of perfectionism, changing the way you see negative thoughts, or reducing those constant comparisons, taking small steps can really shift how you experience your day-to-day. Always remember: the goal is progress, not perfection. It’s easy to say, but I know it’s much harder to put into practice. There will be days when it feels easier, and days when it feels tougher. But hold on, because those tough days will pass, and tomorrow might feel a little brighter. These things take time and practice. They won’t eliminate all your low moments, but they do make a difference. They help prevent those small challenges from turning into something overwhelming. And that alone is worth striving for! Keep going—you’ve got this.
Sending love,
Dr Dot x
Other helpful materials:
Behavioural activation
https://www.psychologytools.com/self-help/behavioral-activation
Thought challenging:
https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/unhelpfulthinkinghabitswithalternatives.pdf