Keep an open mind when entering therapy and see where it takes you.  Give it time and have patience – change doesn’t happen overnight.  Compare it to going to the gym – it takes time and persistence to achieve worthwhile goals.  If you stick with it, it may help you to build the life, career, or relationship that you want.  You have little to lose… and potentially lots of clarity and lifelong happiness to gain.

To get the most out of therapy, lets join the dots all together:

1.       Be honest with yourself

Therapy is your safe space to talk about absolutely anything.  The information you share will not be laughed at or judged.  The more honest and open you are, the better we will be able to help you and the more you will get out of therapy. 

2.       Be open and honest with your Psychologist

Therapy can feel scary and sometimes you can feel worse before you start feeling better.  Our job is to help you through this.  It is a bit like opening up that messy cupboard you may have in your house – you have to take everything out, bit by bit (it can feel overwhelming once it is out and you may think “why on earth did I start this?!?”) before putting it all back in tidy (and realise it was all completely worth it).  If you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed at any stage, tell your Psychologist.  We can help you to manage your difficult emotions throughout therapy and work with you to make it feel more manageable.

3.       Go with the feeling

Don’t be surprised if you laugh or cry, feel embarrassed or awkward or burst into tears with relief due to finally being able to open up to someone.  Therapy is the best place to feel all of your feelings and just go with it.  Your Psychologist will help you to process your difficult emotions so they don’t feel so difficult anymore.

4.       Set personal boundaries around therapy

You may be the kind of person who shares a lot.  If you are, you may want to set boundaries around how much you share about therapy.  You may feel ok sharing it with the world, your partner or best friend but you need to decide how to address this when you perhaps need to discuss that person in therapy, or something just feels too personal.  You can share as much as you want, but you can also keep things as private as you want – this is your choice and something you may want to discuss with your Psychologist about how to navigate this. 

5.       Sometimes therapy will feel hard

You may leave therapy some weeks feeling lighter than ever or radiating with revelations.  Other weeks, you may leave therapy feeling emotionally vulnerable and sad.  This is normal and all part of the process.  Try to plan time and space to decompress after each session, e.g. some like to plan it at the end of a day, after work has finished, so they have time to go out for a walk and clear their head, whilst some like to plan it into their morning while their children are at school and they have time to process their emotions before they get home.

6.       Therapy won’t tell you the answers

A good Psychologist is a “guide” rather than a “Guru”/Advisor.  It is tempting to ask your Psychologist “what should I do”? but they will collaboratively work with you to reach this answer yourself, instead of answering the question for you.  It will feel more empowering when you are able to find the answers on your own.

7.       Make therapy work for you

People often worry about not having the time for therapy.  This is a tricky thing and something most of us struggle with.  If it is something you really want to do, or need, it is about prioritising it and carving out the time.  Just carving out that hour for your therapy session every week can be seen as self-care for yourself.  The rest of the time may be ten minutes here and there for journalling or just thinking about things when you are out and about.  It does not need to be masses of time.  If you need to do something that takes a bit more time in therapy, your Psychologist will discuss any potential barriers with you and you will work together to find ways around it, making a realistic plan in session.

8.       Be patient – therapy is an adventure, not a journey!

Therapy takes time and requires a willingness to be curious and open.  You may unlock things you didn’t even know you were looking for.  Therapy will sometimes feel challenging, and it will sometimes be enlightening, but it is always worth the effort when you put time in to care for yourself.  We never regret that big adventure!  Therapy can be the best time and money you will ever invest in yourself and those around you.

To read more about what to expect from therapy (and another very important reminder) …see Blog 1, Part 8.